My World Talks

I've been seeking out opportunities to talk about race for a couple of years now, and last night I had the opportunity to be part of a planning group for a discussion on race scheduled for next month. John Mark Eberhardt convened the group - he's the director of The Steward's Staff, a new non-profit organization that works on building leadership among youth. (www.stewardstaff.org)

The group that met last night was fairly diverse - about equally mixed male and female, black and white. One gentleman was from Belize, which will be interesting, since his experiences around race have been very different. Most of the group was young, well, except for me, of course. (I guess I was the age diversity!) Most of the other conversations I've had about race have involved older people, and it will be interesting to see how age impacts the conversation. I'm assuming it will different because even just last night I noticed a few things.

While I can't prove that it's an age difference, I noticed that the group seemed less tense than other groups I've been in when the topic was race. I don't think that all of the members already knew each other well, so that wouldn't account for it. And of course we were mostly talking about planning the discussion, rather than our own experiences. But still, with older people, I sometimes get the feeling that there is a vast pool of feeling - so much hurt and anger - just under the surface. Even if we don't actually tap that reservoir, I think I can feel it simmering. When we do tap into it, the feelings may erupt in a passionate outburst, which can be very powerful and moving. I didn't sense that last night, although that doesn't mean it isn't there.

I think the group last night was more hopeful, which is exciting and energizing for me. They're realistic enough to know that there are huge problems, and that we don't have the solutions, but they don't seem wary of being disappointed.

We had some interesting discussion about whether or not we wanted to involve "experts" in our upcoming conversations. We decided to start with a more experiential approach - what are your experiences, what are you feeling - rather than giving information, which I thought was wise. At the same time, they recognized that there are so many misconceptions and so much misinformation out there that giving information will be helpful at some point.

So I came home really excited about what we're doing. I offered to help set up a blog to be used to continue the conversation that will be started in the discussions. (Although really, I don't know what I was thinking. It's not like I have any technical expertise. But John Mark looked at me and kind of nodded, like, "oh, you have a blog, you could do this," and the next thing I knew I'd volunteered.)

But it's also inspired me to start doing something with this blog! I have a really clear image of what I want it to be. So I'll put my committment in writing - I'll add to it at least once a week. And I'll learn to post pictures and do links and all that neat stuff too!

What's in a Name?

This is a post I did yesterday for the American Slaves, Inc. blog I'm sharing on that website.

As a white person - an older white woman - I've watched the "correct" term for descendants of slaves change repeatedly. I remember as a young girl watching a children's "made for TV" movie very early one morning. Everyone else was still sleeping, so I had the TV, an old black-and-white set, turned down low. The movie was about the desegregation of schools, and in the movie, two little girls, one "colored" (as we said then) and one white, became friends.

I remember one scene vividly. They're talking about race. The white girl says to the other girl, "What should I call you?" The "colored" girl smiles and says proudly, "Negro. That's what I am."

Still smiling, she asks, "What should I call you?" And the white girl smiles shyly and says, "Caucasian, I guess." I remember thinking "Caucasian?? That's weird." And I wondered if "colored" people thought being called "Negro" was weird too. The scene has stuck with me all these years.

Maybe I remember it so vividly because the show was interrupted with updates on the news of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s assasination. I am ashamed to admit that I didn't recognize the irony of that at the time, and even more ashamed to admit that I was dreadfully disappointed that I missed the rest of the movie.

As a teenager, I remember the shift to "Black" as the correct term. "Black pride" and "Black is beautiful," reading Soul on Ice, Manchild in the Promised Land, and the poetry of Langston Hughes - it all seemed very exciting. It seemed very far removed from the old days of slavery, and we thought - I thought - that true equality was just around the corner.

Of course we know now that it wasn't.

The TV series "Roots" came next, and again there was a shift - "African-American" was the new term. And again, that seemed very exciting and hopeful.

But it got a little confusing when I realized not all "black" people wanted to be called "African-American." And I'd remember how I felt when the little white girl on TV said she was "Caucasian." So sometimes, I'd ask, "Do you prefer being called Black or African-American?" Sometimes I'd try to guess. I mean, if someone's wearing African clclothes, "African-American" seemed to be a pretty safe bet.

Then, about twelve years ago, I started working in the West End. I worked with an "African-American" woman named Ayo, who was very focused on connecting people with their African heritage. She was adamant that "African-American" was the only correct term, and was quick to let me know that anything else was racist. So of course I used "African-American" exclusively for years.

Then I read America's Little Black Book and became connected with American Slaves, Inc. Suddenly "African-American" was no longer acceptable! But this shift in terms is different.

It seems to me that previous changes have been an effort to put more distance between the descendants of slaves and the history of slavery. I wanted to support that effort, thinking that was the path to ending racism. Norris Shelton challenges the idea that distance between the past and the present is the goal. He embraces the connection with the past. He makes it clear that the shame of slavery does not belong to the descendants of slaves.

Mr. Shelton takes this idea to it's furthest extreme and refers to himself and others as "slaves." I understand his point, but can't possibly imagine myself ever referring to descendants of slaves as "slaves." In any case, I'm interested in other people's thoughts on this, and on their ideas about the numerous name changes that descendants of slaves have undergone.

Let me know what you're thinking!

The Pressure's Really On...

That's my horoscope today. "The pressure's really on."

It seems like a good start for my first post to this blog, since I feel like I have a hundred things all going on at the same time. And it's better than my horoscope a few weeks ago, which said, "The list of things you've been meaning to do is getting pretty long." I was kind of indignant about that one - after all, I don't really need my horoscope to nag me.

But, horoscopes aside, there are so many exciting things going on that I don't know where to start. In the book She: Understanding Feminine Psychology, Robert Johnson says that one of the psychological tasks women are called to master (or to mistress?) is to do one thing and do it well. If I understand him correctly, he's talking about that ability to have a million things swirling around you and still be able to focus on the one thing that most needs doing. And to do that one thing well before you move on to the next.

I think I used to do that better than I do now. Now I can't even pick one thing to focus on in this post!

Johnson says we need to take an eagle's perspective before we focus in - step back far enough to get the whole picture, I think he means. When I step back, I see a kalidescope of events and activities, chores and challenges, that intersect and intertwine with each other.

So I just spent waaaay too much time trying to create a visual of that. Which is not my strong suit anyhow, and it didn't turn out anything like I wanted. And now I can't even get it to copy and paste here. Ok. Enough of this.

This was supposed to be a fabulous first post on my first blog, but really, it doesn't matter, cause I haven't told anyone I'm doing it!! So it is what it is. And it reflects what's going on with me much better than if I'd done some great writing or succinctly explained one of my projects.

So I'll be back...